Two Weeks to New Orleans!

I’m still alive and training. This past week has had some good runs, but I’m knocking on wood because I don’t want to jinx it. It would be awfully nice if I peak on race day, no?

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Basically, this.

We’re still struggling on the homefront with my kiddo, although I think we’ll be a few steps closer to getting him situated in the next month or so. One big problem is that he has ADHD (was diagnosed by a neurologist in first grade) and starting his senior year of high school, he decided he didn’t want to continue his medication. Which has been proven a giant mistake, but we can’t seem to convince him that going back on it or at least trying alternative medicines or therapies would be in his best interest. From what I gather, this is not uncommon for ADHD males at this age to refuse medication, but it doesn’t lessen the blow. Without medication, something like only 5% ever graduate college. I can see why.

For all that people say, “live in the moment,” I challenge you to look at a kid who that literally is all he does and say this is a good life strategy. Argh. Some info points to a possible maturity around age 26 for him that could change his perspective… that’s a long way off, though.

I received my study manual from NAASFP on Monday, and I started note-taking. It starts with a lot of anatomy stuff, which I’m really relieved I don’t have to memorize (it’s an open book exam). There’s one section with a description of how muscles contract that sort of left me feeling stupid. Thank god I am not studying to be a doctor (in my defense, the description appeared to be missing some key descriptions/definitions of words out — I looked when trying to decipher the blurbs).

Well, I’ve got a 50 minute easy run to do before a 90 minute massage (yay!), so I’d best bundle up and brave the 0 degrees with “feels like” temp of -9. Soooo glad to be running on a treadmill today since there is no point in acclimating to fecking-freezing when I race in Louisiana in 16 days.

Ciao!

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30 thoughts on “Two Weeks to New Orleans!

  1. Martha B says:

    I am sure it’s stressful knowing your sons’ potential but seeing him deviate from it. I hope time helps to work this situation out and maybe he will have an epiphany.
    So jealous of your warm weather running adventure coming up. Hopefully the polar vortex is long gone by then. Enjoy your treadmill run!

  2. I think that the ‘live in the moment’ thing misses the point in understanding the difference between someone who truly has ADHD and someone who is ‘just hyper’ or was over-medicated … on Instagram a few days ago a friend posted one of those inspirational things saying it is impossible to be grateful and depressed at the same time.

    And I called her out on it (she then deleted it), saying it really was pretty dismissive of REAL depression, which isn’t going to be cured through making some list of crap we’re grateful for! Sure if you are feeling down, grateful lists and affirmations are great ways to replace negativity with positivity and refocus your thoughts … but that has little to do with real clinical depression or bipolar disorder.

    ANYWAY …

    I hope that your son can find his way back to some solution that meets what he is looking for (I’m assuming he feels ‘deadened’ by meds) and also provides a productive path forward to meeting his potential. Not an easy path or place for any of you …

    Good luck with your training – I have been loving my new gloves as they have really helped deal with my key winter running weakness! Woohoo!

    Also good luck prepping for the NAASFP (yes I had to look up the acronym 😉 ) studying!

    • Thanks. It’s been a little weird with my in-laws, who knew he had ADHD but had not seen him unmedicated in a long time. Now they’re seeing it and have all kinds of not-very-helpful advice despite that they never read any of the books I gave them when he was first diagnosed. I know they mean well, but…

      Anyway, thank you for your ability to see the bigger picture and your compassion.

      Which gloves do you have (I know I have two of your posts I’ve been saving to read). I’ll be outdoor training focused after NOLA to prep for the NYC half in March. Could be freezing in the city then!

      • I’m not sure about the model, but they are Brooks 3-in-1 glove liners with mittens over the top. Amazing how well they do regardless of the wind (Monday we had 30+ MPH winds)

  3. Yes, I love the idea of living in the moment, but it isn’t particularly practical. It’s like walking and expecting to make it to the ocean without looking where you’re going.

    You do have the advantage of being an informed parent and aware of expectations. Not to mention, you’re willing to learn. Praying for inspiration.

    I’ve never been in weather that cold. Is there a point when it’s simply cold, and you can’t feel the difference when the temperature rises or falls? Brrrrrrrrr…

    • I think it just feels painful as it gets colder and colder. Sort of like being burned. It’s weird for me to realize you’ve not experienced this kind of weather! Arizona really is beautiful, though. Great analogy about walking to the ocean without making a point of choosing a direction. It’s really hard to watch — as his mother, I just want to lay out the plan for him and chain him to it! But I also know that it won’t help him long term. He needs to be autonomous and find himself. I wish I could give that to him, but it’s something only experience will give.

  4. Enjoy your massage!! Sounds glorious. I’m sorry things are still rough at home. I won’t pretend to have any advice other than to make sure you’re taking care of yourself too (which judging by the massage, sounds like you are 🙂 I’ll be rooting for you in NOLA!

  5. I can’t feel your pain Judith, I was in your son’s shoes… Still am. While I did not graduate college, I am as successful as I think I could have been. God hooked me up with the right job and I made it into a career, and now I’m starting a second career at the same time… On top of 6,000 miles a year. Do you see a pattern there? ADHD IS A BLESSING. Normal people can’t do what I do, they don’t have the energy! The trick is to channel it!

    My mom refused the Ritalin when I was diagnosed at five. I learned to self-medicate with caffiene and still do to this day. I lead a perfectly happy and wonderful life…

    Point is, if my “bunny” is a job I love, guess what happens? I put all of that incredible, wonderful energy into it and I win!

    Help him to channel that energy, drop the meds, and watch him shine!

    Life is all about persective isn’t it?

  6. Oh yeah… I almost forgot the successful blog for which I write an average of 750 words a day for, every day of the year, too. And working a recovery program too… And still find the time to eat, sleep and be an awesome dad and husband too. Sheesh, I need a nap!

      • Ooh, I didn’t quite intend what I wrote the way it appears you took it… We know gaming isn’t an option. The trick before you, and your son, is figuring out what is an option and lights his fire at the same time. Try construction management, specifically managing projects and doing estimates. Have him get in with a commercial construction company, ground floor and work up… It took me a year but I had a bit of age and a lot of natural talent that nobody knew about. I get to play Monopoly with millions of dollars every year and the estimates are like putting a puzzle together, with a $20,000 software program.

        I didn’t mean it was a death sentence, I see it as an advantage. It’s the disease that keeps giving! Sorry if I came off a little hyper. That’s how we roll. 😜

  7. I don’t have experience in what you speak of, Judith, but I do hear you and hope that things work out with your son. i can’t imagine being on the sidelines and just wishing things to be different. I pray that he finds his path and his journey and it’s a healing one.

    Paul

    • Thank you for the words of encouragement. It’s a tough place to be right now, but we’re doing all we can to help him transition and be supportive of him. He is very loved and will have lots of people willing to guide him (not just his mom & dad, who he still thinks are uncool dummies) while he figures thngs out. Some people have to do things the hard way. (*raising my own hand cuz guilty*)

  8. Syd says:

    I have written about a good friend who is ADHD and a recovering alcoholic. He is a hoarder and has awful bursts of temper. He did not graduate from high school because he could not focus or understand what was being taught. It is a tough thing. I remain his friend but have been sorely vexed many times with him.

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