Belated…

Yesterday I wrote a rather whiny post and neglected to say the following:

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I’m procrastinating on my 15×20 second stride workout. It’s not so much that I don’t want to run, but rather that I’m afraid it’ll suck. I guess I’m glad it wasn’t Sunday when I woke up, which was my first thought. I have a 16 mile fast finish run scheduled for then, and I’m not sure I’m up to doing distance with the final 4 miles at half marathon pace today.

I’ve been wishing I lived in a warmer climate lately because I really want to run outside, but my legs really dislike it when it gets below 35 degrees. Since my calf is not where I want it to be and I’ve been having difficulty with both ankles for the early miles of any run, the cold just makes me nervous. I always feel like my hamstrings and calves are working too hard when they can’t get warm enough. So, the treadmill it is. We’re trying to schedule a trip to Florida in the next week or so, and that’ll at least let me run in weather that is closer to my New Orleans half.

For Christmas, we gave our son the new Thug Cookbook, and I think we’ll be testing out a couple recipes from that in the next few days. He was bummed that it turned out to be vegetarian (doh!), but we’re going to modify a bit by adding chicken to one of the recipes. I’m incapable of following a recipe exactly as written unless baking (which I seldom do anyways). This kind of bugs my kid for some reason — he’s so messy, haphazard and laid back about so much, but he gets kind of anal about recipes. Weird. But because he is decidedly not vegetarian, he’s cool with changing things up this time. He really loves the cookbook despite that it’s no meat.

I kind of feel compelled to have 2015 goals since it seems like every other blog has done a version of that the past few days. I guess I’d say my primary goals are to continue working on getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, as well as continue the positive self-talk when running. I also need to get back to more consistent crosstraining. I still meet with my trainer weekly, but I’ve not done so well with doing the work on my own a few days a week. I’m sure the tight legs are largely because of this lapse.

Here’s to hoping that 2015 is a good year. ✨✨✨🌟🌟🌟

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15 thoughts on “Belated…

  1. Interesting about your son wanting to stick to the recipe. It may simply be the need to hold onto the rail at the iceskating rink until he feels more comfortable. I never varied from recipes until the last few years. I took gourmet cooking classes, but I wasn’t confident enough to stray from the proven way. As my confidence grows, so does my ability to trust myself with experimenting with recipes. His reason may be completely different, but I appreciate the opportunity to explore my own reasons.

  2. Here’s hoping you have a great year … and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is probably something most of us could be better at! Well, certainly me 🙂

  3. So true, you have to get used to feeling like you’re going to get sick or die.
    I learned that about two years ago and it made a big difference.
    Part of running like that is the head game. I think Bill Rogers said he never ran a race that he didn’t think about quitting at some point.
    Its those moments of doubt about your goal and what you can do that add time to your finish.
    Banish the doubt. Know you won’t die and people will respect you if you hurl.
    Cheers – Andy

  4. Joan S says:

    This is so inspirational, all your posts are. I struggle with certain issues and they consume me and I am unable to move on to something else in the meantime. I should just allow the thing until it sorts itself out or I can work on it. Lacking control all the time is hard to accept. I know all this stuff logically, but I haven’t been able to do it.

    So yeah, I’ve had to abandon consistency for now, and just try to get through the day with moving on, moving on. One day at a time, it sucks. Like your running, I have to put some stuff aside for now, concentrate on others. I hope this makes sense.

    • Allowing yourself to just “be” is something I really struggle with. I also want tot try to fix it or, of that isn’t an option, throw a zillion distractions in my way. When I went to AA and therapy, learning to just sit in the feelings and not act was often mentioned. And when I could manage it, it usually wasn’t as bad as I’d feared it would be.

      I guess it goes back to a time when it WAS too horrible to feel what I felt, and I dissociated to the point that the memories are gray. Like when my mother would physically and mentally attack me, all I remember is her in the distance and the patterns of my throw rug that I would focus on in order to get outside myself.

      Sometimes I just have to remind myself that life isn’t meant to be easy… but also that we don’t have to make it harder either.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting 🙂

  5. Syd says:

    ADHD adults seem to be very particular about those things they care about and don’t care at all about other things. I find it interesting and frustrating at the same time. Hope you have a great 2015 ODAT.

  6. One of my sisters came from out of town to visit last year, and expressed a desire for her and I to cook a meal together. We were all smiles and giggles as we started cutting and dicing and chopping and simmering, until it all went sideways because she bristled at the idea of me going “off recipe”. Truly, at first I thought she was kidding, but every time I added a different twist or changed something up, she got more and more tense and upset. It ended up being awkward and stilted, not at all how we had anticipated the joint cooking session to go.

    Later, we talked about it, and she said that when I went rogue on the recipe, she interpreted that as me not having faith in her ability to prepare the meal properly. I tried to explain that I rarely follow any recipe, even in baking, and that for me, cooking is always an experiment. She much prefers a straight line with an expected result, whereas I’m okay with occasionally ending up with a fail. We laughed about it later, but it caught us both by surprise that what was intended to be a shared fun experience deteriorated into what appeared to be a clash of wills, when it really was just about two entirely different cooking styles.

    Now, whenever we get a chance to cook together, if she is the lead chef, then I act as her sous chef, and simply do what I’m asked, offering no deviations or suggestions. If I’m the lead chef, then all bets are off, and we happily throw just about anything into the pot. We’ve found a way to not only recognize and appreciate our differences, but enjoy the process. Whew … that was a close one! It took some conversation to sort it out, but we managed to resolve the issue, and now can look forward to spending time together in the kitchen again.

    p.s. my youngest son (who is now 34) had/has severe ADHD, and even though he spent many years medicated for the condition, as an adult, he has chosen behavior modification over medication. He is a biker, as in, he rides both street and mountain bikes almost every day. If he doesn’t get his ride in, his whole world starts tilting sideways. I’m glad he’s found something (healthy) that fuels his spirit and helps him stay focused, and I can clearly see the impact it has had on his quality of life. I applaud you for your dedication to running. It takes determination and supreme discipline to incorporate that into your daily life.

    • p.p.s. I meant to say that I like that idea about “getting comfortable with being uncomfortable”. That one is darn near a one-size-fits-most idea that is worth exploring. For instance, in my case, it could apply to the idea of getting comfortable with the pain from rheumatoid arthritis, rather than always trying to find ways to mask the pain. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is a simpler way of saying “embrace what is, and work with it”. I like that.

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