I ran across this poem by Derek Walcott online today:
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
For my easy run today, I decided to try something new. I wore my Garmin watch, but did not look at it. I ran my favorite route in the park, so I knew the distances. I ran at a pace that felt easy. I thought I was running 9:30s or higher.
After hitting 6.2 miles, I saved my workout (without checking the time), then jogged a bit until I hit a good, flat straightaway. Then I performed 4 strides (which is running fast for a set amount of time, in my case, 20 seconds) with a recovery jog between. Again, I did not look at my watch, but I did hit the lap button for each segment. I counted for the seconds.
I turned out to be wrong about my speed being slower today. My splits over the easy run were:
8:56 (there were two significant hills in this segment, and I ran it to match the effort of the flat portions)
I beat my previous best time up the largest hill by 28 seconds (over the course of a half mile climb).
I wasn’t even trying to increase my speed over the four strides. It just happened.
What this poem and workout say to me is that I need to find more belief in myself. I fully believe that of I’d eyed my watch during this workout, I would have freaked myself out and made it feel harder than it should’ve. Instead, I had a wonderful, relaxed run.
I am my own worst enemy. I think I learned something valuable about myself today.
Trust the training. Trust myself.