If I Pretend It’s Not There, Will It Go Away?

20130901-133352.jpgMy left foot, the one that was diagnosed with a neuroma back in May, is hurting. Hurting enough that for the first time since I started running, I cut my Thursday run short.

It’s bugged me off and on as I’ve trained, but never as bad as in May before I switched to my Newton Distance running shoes. But on Tuesday I noticed some discomfort on the top of my foot on the reverse side of the neuroma on my middle toe. I didn’t think much of it and on Wednesday I did a little jogging as part of my crosstraining session, but had no problem.

Thursday I woke up early to run before taking junior to school. I didn’t get more than half a mile before it started hurting. I limped around Boston the rest of the day. I’d never had my food bother me after a run, especially not for days after a run.

Friday was a scheduled day off from running. Yesterday I tried a little light jogging and it was ok. I was on my feet for hours when I volunteered for the race, and I almost forgot I was injured. However, I’ve had trouble walking first thing in the morning and especially had trouble walking down stairs. It feels ok when I’m wearing sneakers but not so great barefoot.

I wanted to try 4 or so miles today, but I’m contemplating one more day off. I emailed my virtual running coach (and as much as I love the training program I’m using, my coach has lousy bedside manner and makes me feel like in a nuisance despite that I paid extra for a coach. I’ll do the program again, but keep the $70 extra I paid for coaching), who said that I should be resting. I asked how to retool my schedule over the next two weeks as I approach my half marathon, but he didn’t bother answering that part of my email. I think it was negligence rather than a sign I should give up the race altogether.

I’ve an appointment with my chiro, who does active release therapy, on Wednesday. I may get that cortisone shot my orthopedist mentioned. I can’t miss this race.

I’m terrified what this pain might mean. My husband suggested that I spend some time spinning instead of putting weight on my foot. He’s probably right, but the urge to run is strong. I’m kind of panicked right now. I hate panicking.

Fuckedy fuck. I might be crying a little over this.

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