Moving Forward Without Too Much Thinking

A friend of mine reminded me last night that I needed to be sure to continue with my running during this time. I realized I hadn’t been writing about it, although I have been good about not dropping my training.

I’ve only taken two days off since returning from Ireland, the day my father-in-law went into the hospital and the day he died. Actually, I’m trying to convince myself to follow my training plan and not run today. My legs are pretty tired and need a break. My mind, on the other hand, wants to chase the freedom it feels when my feet are moving.

I have an 8.4 mile race on Saturday that is going to be a doozy. It starts with a nearly 2 mile hill that pretty much kicked my ass in a trial run about a month ago. I’ve logged well over 100 miles since then.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned that I signed up for a NYRR half marathon plan that is personalized based on my fitness and ability, plus it comes with a coach I can email for advice. I’m on week 4, and I can’t believe how much faster I’ve become. All without feeling like I’m destroying myself. I love the plan and highly recommend it.

I’m grateful to have running to turn to right now that the regular job of living is back. I still feel emotionally wrecked and at a loss. The five stages of grief people talk about seem to go in rapid, evil cycles. To top it off, I feel so very lonely, missing my own father who would only make things worse if I were to contact him.

There’s not much I can do right now except watch over my husband and son and put one foot in front of the other.

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3 thoughts on “Moving Forward Without Too Much Thinking

  1. I think the grief process just has to run its course. It gets easier with time. But it is awful when in it actively. Staying busy is good.

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