Roller Coaster of Life

It’s fitting that today’s race was at the race track. My father-in-law owned some racehorses (I don’t know if they still have these, but they do own other show horses) and his wife is a hunter-jumper rider. Season here in Saratoga was one of their things. Opening day was yesterday.

In addition to signing a DNR a few days ago, my father-in-law has asked for no food or oxygen. He had a bad day followed by a worse night. He’s not taking visitors, but my husband is on his way to the hospital. My husband seems resigned. It’s been coming for awhile, although to me it seem sudden.

I beat my goal this morning, ran my 5k in 24:44. My husband was here cheering me on and taking pictures, running the last few meters with me to the finish.

He’s left to clean up and wait for his father to die. I wish I knew how to run to the finish line on that one with him.

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7 thoughts on “Roller Coaster of Life

  1. tundrawoman says:

    Nice time, PV! Especially with the humidity and jet lag.
    I am so sorry to learn of your FIL’s imminent death. We’re never “ready,” but particularly with an anticipated death, they often are. Lack of appetite/refusing food is normal when people are dying because of the changes taking place in their bodies. You know your DH: Sometimes the best thing we can do is be present with them and for them.
    You’ve crossed many other Finish Lines with your DH throughout your years together: Each presents a different challenge and offers the opportunity to deepen your relationship. None of them are easy and many of them are beyond our control. In a few weeks DS will leave for college. With so many changes coming your way do you ever feel like you want it all to just slow down and give you a moment to catch your breath?
    You and your family remain in my thoughts.
    TW

  2. Congratulations on the great race. How wonderful DH was there for you in the way you needed. I think you probably already know what to do for DH. As TW said, be there for him. The difficulty lies in the fact that what you will do is so much harder. It’s easy to cheer and jump into the fun. Being there, being present, holding and crying together isn’t fun and requires more than a set block of time. There is no finish line to cross, only a new chapter to step into. Praying for you, DH, DS, FIL, and all those involved in his care.

  3. I don’t know how to be at the finish for that either, although I have been so very close now on four occasions. But people die in their own time, often when no one is right there with them. Just step out of the room for a moment and…..they are gone. I hope that your FIL’s transition is quick and painless. His race is almost run.

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