The End of One Era

My son graduates from high school today.

It’s inevitable that I think about my own high school graduation. My grandparents were all still alive then. And very proud of me. My mother? Not so much.

My parents are not attending the graduation ceremony. I haven’t written or spoken to them in about a year. I wonder if they’ve even thought about this milestone they are missing. I’m sure they do — and blame me for keeping him from them. Which is not the truth. The truth is that they could’ve mended this rift if they had wanted. Being “right” is more important to them than self-examination. For them to admit any wrong-doing would threaten their carefully constructed false identities.

I got tired to upholding their vision of them as infallible and me as the problem. I let them do it — I believed it — for most of my life. I’m willing to accept my part in things, but I refuse to take their piece anymore.

I hope my son will look back at his graduation differently, that he’ll see those who loved and supported him. He doesn’t care that my parents aren’t going to be there. He thinks they are weird and boring.

I hope I’ve done better by my kid. I see a young man who is very much himself and also still has a lot to learn once he leaves the cocoon of home. I hope I’ve prepared him and that he knows he has a safe place at home should he falter.

I’m not ready for this, but I hope you are. I’m so proud of you.

Happy graduation, baby boy. I love you.

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5 thoughts on “The End of One Era

  1. Syd says:

    A great day for your son. And I’m sure that he will remember this milestone as kind of a blur. You are a good mom and he knows that.

  2. Congratulations to your son! Well done! And good for you for showing him a great example of accepting responsibility to choosing to not be a victim.

  3. tundrawoman says:

    Congratulations and Best Wishes to DS AND you and DH.
    I walked home from graduation. Then I got ready to go out with friends and that was a blast. I think by that point I was so use to indifference from Psychob or the over-the-top embarrassing stuff she pulled it was a relief she wasn’t around. Dad really wanted to come (this I do know) but unfortunately had a business trip overseas at the time. He sent me a telegram which I deeply appreciated. My Graduation Gift was an electric typewriter (High Tech stuff at the time) handed to me at some point unwrapped by Psychob-for use at College.
    She repossessed it a year later. They were in the process of getting divorced and since I insisted I would see/maintain a relationship with Dad, I *must* be punished.
    Your DS knows where “home” is-you created it for him! And you protected him enough from your “parents” that he views them as “weird and boring:” That’s a huge accomplishment considering what you experienced. How proud you must feel!
    TW

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