Impressions

A few posts back, blogger Furtheron commented on my post about my stupidity of putting Boone on a pedestal. He said that someone told him “when you do something that impresses me, I’ll be impressed”, which made Furtheron realize he was trying to impress someone who probably was not worthy of Furtheron’s admiration.

His comment has been on my mind some as I try to assess my own behavior. I certainly went from being a relaxed guitar student to idiot trying to impress teacher, much to the cost of my actual learning. It wasn’t 100 percent of what was going on, but I did want him to think I was, well, as amazing as I’d imagined him to be. The problem was: neither one of us was very super-special. I cringe when I think of all the dismissals of his bad behavior because I didn’t want to see it. Argh.

I tend towards self-deprecation, but I think it’s fairly well-balanced in that I know what I need to improve and usually make a plan for it (or not — I’ll likely never master folding sheets and don’t care if I don’t). But I became paralyzed in my guitar practice because it became too much about him and not enough about my personal goals. I lost sight of myself. That’s never a good idea and a bad habit I learned from my experiences with my mother.

Today I had my second session with my personal trainer, and she kicked my ass. It feels good to be working towards this personal goal. But I have to make sure I don’t put her on a pedestal either. Luckily, one of her workout “rules” is for me to listen to my body first, her second.

Besides, tomorrow I will probably be cursing her for my sore muscles. No hero worship in that.

I’m all registered for the half marathon. It’s part of the Rock n Roll series in which bands play along the race course. Now I just have a little over half a year to get ready.

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7 thoughts on “Impressions

  1. tundrawoman says:

    Sounds like a great trainer. You’ll be ready for that half-marathon.
    I’ve been surprised at times to find others who were not “All That.” Then again, they didn’t pretend to be-I just pulled a “Pedestal” type of thing myself!
    TW

  2. If I said “stupidity” I apologise – we all do these things to a greater or lesser extend it is just good to get self knowledge about it, realise when it is unhealthy or not etc.

    The need to impress suppressing progress is interesting though isn’t it – I wonder how many times I fall foul of that and don’t realise it?

    • You didn’t use the term “stupidity”. That was my descriptor of my behavior and no one else’s.

      It is an interesting thing to observe, this need to impress. I appreciate that you pointed it out to me so I can better understand what was really going on with me.

  3. I can relate to putting a teacher or coach up there. Often, when I have a new goal and I make progress it feels good. And I think it is natural to have some feelings like that about the person that is helping you get there. It is a hard thing to keep in check. And especially since a lot of times I don’t have the feeling of making progress – when it happens it can go to extremes and hinder keeping it in balance.

    Awesome about the marathon! xxoo

    • Thank you for saying this. I hadn’t quite put it in the perspective of some of these feelings being an outgrowth of a teacher/student relationship in which he had been making me feel good about myself through my new guitar skills. That makes a ton of sense and makes me feel a bit better about my vulnerability to him around that phenomenon.

  4. tundrawoman says:

    “….making me feel good about myself through my new guitar skills.” Sounds like perhaps there was some Mirroring going on here as well on Boone’s part.
    TW

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