A few posts back, blogger Furtheron commented on my post about my stupidity of putting Boone on a pedestal. He said that someone told him “when you do something that impresses me, I’ll be impressed”, which made Furtheron realize he was trying to impress someone who probably was not worthy of Furtheron’s admiration.
His comment has been on my mind some as I try to assess my own behavior. I certainly went from being a relaxed guitar student to idiot trying to impress teacher, much to the cost of my actual learning. It wasn’t 100 percent of what was going on, but I did want him to think I was, well, as amazing as I’d imagined him to be. The problem was: neither one of us was very super-special. I cringe when I think of all the dismissals of his bad behavior because I didn’t want to see it. Argh.
I tend towards self-deprecation, but I think it’s fairly well-balanced in that I know what I need to improve and usually make a plan for it (or not — I’ll likely never master folding sheets and don’t care if I don’t). But I became paralyzed in my guitar practice because it became too much about him and not enough about my personal goals. I lost sight of myself. That’s never a good idea and a bad habit I learned from my experiences with my mother.
Today I had my second session with my personal trainer, and she kicked my ass. It feels good to be working towards this personal goal. But I have to make sure I don’t put her on a pedestal either. Luckily, one of her workout “rules” is for me to listen to my body first, her second.
Besides, tomorrow I will probably be cursing her for my sore muscles. No hero worship in that.
I’m all registered for the half marathon. It’s part of the Rock n Roll series in which bands play along the race course. Now I just have a little over half a year to get ready.